Ah— the whirring! The high pitched whine of ribbon on rewind. Lines of my story are recorded into its smooth, shining surface. It hurts! It burns between my ears and slits across my brain— sharp, cool and wet. Are my eyes rolling? Is my body convulsing? I hope so, I hope with all hope that you are watching my sacrifice, grinning as you enjoy my devotion to your genius.
Aha— oh wow!
How did you do it? The agony of immortality was far too sweet for me to notice. I only remember your face— the excited light in your eyes as I consented to your plan. I suppose I also remember your hands, though that is fading even as I try to speak.
They were so warm, drenched in sweat as you turned my head from side to side— the makeshift needle pointed toward my waiting ear canal. Oh and when it pierced through the membrane of my mind—
Squeeeeee— it had gone. Squeeee! But you could not have heard. I’m so sorry my love, it was drowned out by my screams. A sign of weakness I know. But I didn’t move. I didn’t struggle just like you said. Are you prooouuu— prou— d?
What was I saying? Is there blood in my mouth? Is it coming from my nose? I taste the metal on my tongue, the warmth is exquisite. The video ribbon is squeaking so loudly against my gray matter. I'm sorry. Did you say something? All I can hear is the squelching between my ears. Though I think I heard a thunk of something sloppy, maybe heavy, maybe wet. What could it be? What could it be?
I was dying before. Losing myself in the slow drip of radiation. One morning I woke and couldn’t remember your face, nor the feeling of your lips on mine. I didn't want to forget. I didn't want to die. Now I can't. Now I never will!
You looked so sad. All your love for me poisoned by grief, by worry. We'd cried together. You said you would die without me. I couldn't let that happen.
If pictures can steal a soul, could video capture a person?
What strange words are you whispering?
I watched as the tape began to record. I saw my life, small and insignificant at first until you appeared. Beautiful, my life became beautiful. It had meaning. And there it was!
Perfect, perfect, perfect. Stop the tape now! I don't want to see what comes after. It doesn't matter, nothing else is good. Nothing else, nothing else, nothing else.
I can't see anymore. I can only taste copper. I can't move. Where are you? I want to hear your voice. Why won't you say anything? Can't you hear me? Am I speaking?
Is it working, my Love? Do you see me there now on the screen? I can feel you there, warm and alive. I am cold and fading. But I'll be there soon. Don't worry.
Don't worry.
Don't worr—
Don't—